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I didn't think that i would ever see the day when i heard my idol tell me that i should hate myself. Well, she won...i do. i hate myself so much i don'tn know what to do with myself anymore.
 Even know im typing this in tears and can bearly see the screen through my water- filled eyes.
The thought of suicide often wanders in my head and i have tried cuting myself but im too much of a coward to feel pain.
Whats wrong with me?
Why can't i properly hold the knife?
Why can't i convince myself to jump?
Questions like this often circle my head.
"You should hate yourself"
"You are ugly"
These words followed me.
These people haunted me.